Circulation

Cables in the front, cables in the back.

When social ecosystems are wired right, we're all giving and receiving constantly. Nobody gets drained.

No need to go and refuel if the circulation is clear.

If arteries can get clogged by bad cholesterol, human connection cables can get clogged by faulty narratives.

Narratives about receiving are a sneaky kind.

Example 1: if we believe that everytime we receive something from one particular person, we owe that particular person the same or more.

Example 2: if we believe that because we've received more than others at the birth lottery, we are not supposed to be receiving anything more.

Example 3: if we believe that accepting help or gifts means we are weak.

Example 4: if we believe asking for help puts us at risk of exclusion.

Example 5: if we believe we should only accept help from specific known people, without being open to the randomness of human sharing behavior.

With each of these examples, you can see how they sort of make sense, right? Reciprocity is a reflex and is socially encouraged; injustices are to be taken into account, always; when feeling super healthy and happy, we do feel like we don't need anything from anyone; when we ask from the same people repetitively, they very well can get tired of us and start avoiding us; strangers have been associated with danger.

But you can also see how they clog the system.

How they can make us believe we'd be better off if we could just rely on ourselves.

We can't.

I wonder if starting by accepting that fact, really accepting it, really feeling it, would open things up.

Because blocking circulation from one side, whether we want it to or not, blocks the other.